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Peaceful Sleep for Kids with ADHD or Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide to Bedtime

Peaceful Sleep for Kids with ADHD or Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide to Bedtime

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Is bedtime a nightly battle in your home? If you’re parenting a child with ADHD or anxiety, you’re likely familiar with the unique challenges of actually getting peaceful sleep. It’s a frustrating cycle: poor sleep exacerbates behavioral and emotional symptoms, which in turn can make sleep even harder to come by. But there’s help!

There is 1 key principle you can learn in order to help quiet any busy brain at bedtime. And to move you and your child onto a path towards better, more restorative sleep. Drawing from our experience at Child Behavior Clinic, we’ll talk about why sleep can be so elusive for kids with ADHD and anxiety, and more importantly, provide you with actionable strategies you can start implementing today.

Table of Contents

Understanding the Sleep Struggle: Why ADHD and Anxiety Make Bedtime Tough

Many parents wonder why bedtime is such a challenge. For children with ADHD and anxiety, the hurdles are often significant and intertwined.

  • High Rates of Sleep Disorders: Some research suggests a significant overlap between ADHD and diagnosable sleep disorders. Some studies indicate that as many as 75% of children with ADHD also experience conditions like restless leg syndrome, circadian rhythm disorders, sleep apnea, or other related sleep problems. While the exact reasons aren’t fully understood, it’s becoming clear there’s a biological component at play.
  • Circadian Rhythm Disruption: One prevailing theory suggests that the wiring of ADHD brains can interfere with natural sleep-wake cycles. This can lead to a delayed circadian rhythm, making it difficult for kids to fall asleep at a conventional bedtime and equally difficult to wake up in the morning.
  • The Role of Behavioral Symptoms: Beyond potential sleep disorders, common behavioral symptoms associated with ADHD and anxiety directly impact sleep:
    • Restlessness: The constant urge to move, fidget, tap, or even just the feeling of a racing mind makes it hard to settle down for sleep.
    • Rumination: That endless loop of thinking about worries, past events, or future possibilities keeps the brain active when it needs to be winding down.

The Counterintuitive Key to Better Sleep: Focus on the Day!

Here’s the principle that might surprise you: improving sleep isn’t just about what happens at bedtime, it’s largely about what happens during the day.

A solid daytime plan creates predictability and routine, which are powerful tools for reducing bedtime anxiety and struggles for both parents and children. Think of it this way: skills are easier to learn and practice when everyone is calm and regulated, not when emotions are running high in a darkened bedroom. Setting clear expectations and practicing strategies during the day empowers kids to become active problem-solvers and better advocate for their needs.

Building a Daytime Foundation for Sleep Success:

  • Consistent Wake-Up Time: Help regulate the sleep-wake cycle by aiming for a similar wake-up time each day, even on weekends (with some flexibility, of course!).
  • Prioritize Exercise and Daylight: Encourage plenty of physical activity and exposure to natural light during the day. This helps regulate the body’s natural rhythms.
  • Pre-Bedtime Planning and Practice: Decide during the day what strategies your child can use if they have trouble falling asleep after “lights out.” This could include quiet reading, listening to calming music, or using a pre-determined relaxation technique.

Top 3 Bedtime Strategies to Calm a Busy Mind (Practice These During the Day Too!)

These are strategies you can introduce and practice with your child during calm moments throughout the day, making them more effective when bedtime rolls around:

  1. Positive Mantras for Anxious Thoughts: For children who worry about falling asleep, help them develop a positive self-statement they can repeat at bedtime. Examples include: “I am strong. I can handle this.” Or, “Thoughts are just thoughts. I can let my thoughts pass through like clouds going across the sky.”
  2. The Worry Box – Schedule Your Worries: Instead of letting worries take over at bedtime, create a designated “worry time” during the day. At bedtime, encourage your child to write down their worries and place them in a special box to be addressed during their worry time tomorrow. This helps compartmentalize anxieties and prevents them from dominating bedtime.
  3. Mindfulness Moments – Engage the Senses: Incorporate simple mindfulness exercises into your bedtime routine (and practice them during the day!). Activities like the “Making Sandwiches” exercise (mentally walking through the steps of making a sandwich) or focusing on the sounds around them can help ground a busy mind and bring attention to the present moment. You can even adapt the “Five Senses with a Snack” activity to focus on calming sensations.

Worth Your Time: Building Relaxation Skills

Just like any other skill, relaxation takes practice. Teaching your child how to intentionally relax their body can have a profound impact on their ability to calm their mind.

  • Body Relaxation Techniques: Explore techniques like progressive muscle relaxation (tensing and releasing different muscle groups) or simple stretches. You can find guided scripts online or even record your own.
  • Deep Breathing Exercises: Belly breathing is a powerful tool for calming the nervous system. For an easy thing to try, I have a short video that kids can easily follow on their own, “Calming Belly Breathing for Kids – Blowing Candles”. Revisit and practice that with your child!

Creating a peaceful bedtime routine for children with ADHD and anxiety isn’t about quick fixes, but about understanding the underlying challenges and implementing consistent, proactive strategies throughout the day. By focusing on building a solid daytime foundation and equipping your child with calming techniques, you can break the cycle of sleepless nights and pave the way for more restful sleep for the whole family.

I hope the strategies in this post provide a helpful starting point. What strategies have you tried? I’d love to hear from you! Send me a message to share your experiences and what has worked (or hasn’t worked) for your family.

– Dr. Jacque

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